Of Golden Quarters and Wedding Bells

I hear the distinct sound of coin money. Sweet Wonder Boy is in his room getting his "Golden Money" together. He spotted some shiny new quarters on the table, the treasure trove from today's laundry, and told me he was saving his "golden quarters" for his wedding.  I chuckled to myself and thought "smart guy, weddings are expensive!"

As you might have guessed, I couldn't pass up this opportunity to probe into 3 year old land to find out what he thought of marriage.  I first asked him who he was going to marry. He instantly responded "You and Daddy!" as if to say I had 3 heads for not knowing this. I told him we were already married. We were a family and that was forever. I told him that when he was older and had found his sense of self he could marry whomever he wanted to as long as the person loved him back with equal ferocity.  Notice I specifically did not say "girl" or "boy." We don't believe in leading our children to gender specific identities. I don't have any expectations of who 28 year old Brooks is going to be. I hope he is happy and a contributing member to society. I hope he is kind, loving, forgiving and generous with his time and money.  That is why when he told me that to be married meant to be with your friends and so he is marrying Tyler, Christopher, HMac and James I didn't balk.  I didn't tell him that he couldn't marry a boy. Hopefully, by the time he is of appropriate marrying age, it won't be a political issue. Right now, I am not concerned at all with his sexual identity. I am just concerned that he is happy and having a healthy childhood. Some people reading this blog might be alarmed and even outraged that I didn't correct him. You are entitled to your opinion.

I do ask you this. Have you ever felt not good enough for your parents? Has a parent ever rejected you for nothing other than just being you? As a younger person, I thought this was the worst thing in the world. As a mother, I take this particular experience from childhood as the best gift in the world. I know now how it feels and the last thing I will ever want my children to feel is abandoned or not validated.

The Boy Wonder is only 3 soon to be 4. We have years ahead of us before we see him walk down the aisle or jump out of the airplane or however he and his spouse to be decide to tie the knot. For now, I am happy to report that when I told him that you marry someone you love and that Mommy and Daddy were married to each other, he replied "Oh, ok, I get it now. I'll marry baby brother!"

Love your children. Each moment is precious. Don't judge them for who you want them to be. Celebrate who they are becoming. You blink and they are grown up with families of their own. You want them to continue to include you in their life? Treat them well now and always.

Sacagawea courtesy of google Images