Nightmare

I cannot sleep. My heart is beating fast and I feel almost panicked. I had the most horrible dream that something happened to sweet baby. My dreams have always been vivid-full of sounds, color, smells and raw emotion. Flashing lights, raw terror, paramedics...cold...holding him and then not.

I won't continue because lucky for me, it was just a dream. My hands are shaking as I type this. I realized that I hadn't blogged in a long time. I haven't shared any of the adorable things that sweet boy has done. I haven't commented on how grown up the Boy Wonder has become. I am vowing to be better, to record their achievements.

This dream has renewed my absolute gratitude for those boys. THANK YOU GOD that it was just a nightmare. Thank you for those two sweet angels that are safe sleeping in their beds.
This pain makes me miss our sweet one that isn't with us but again so relieved that the two that are here are safe.

The words here are poorly strung along. There isn't any true sense of thought...just me trying to expel the dream from my head.

I hope this pain will subside and I can return to sleep...this time, dreamless.